Zack Morris Knows How to Handle Oil Spills

I don't know a lot about oil spills but you know who does? Zack Morris. Morris formed a partnership with CalStar to bring a "Bigger, Better, Bayside" to all of his special needs peers in Southern California. But when an oil spill breached the school's pond, killing all of the inhabitants, Zack gathered his crew and put a stop to it. He confronted Cal Star and convinced Principal Belding to send them home without a piece of the Bayside Tigers. Perhaps we should take a hint from Preppy.

  

On April 20, three companies were involved in an oil spill that contaminated the Gulf Coast. This caused a three-way Tommy Boy moment. "What'dya do?!?" But we don't know who said that to who because all three companies that specialize in drilling are saying they weren't the one that caused the biggest oil spill in two decades. The lack of responsibility from companies that hold so much power when dealing with such toxic materials is alarming.

In a cost cutting conundrum, British Petroleum leased an oil rig from Transocean and then paid Haliburton to construct some concrete on this rig. Haliburton did a bad job on the construction but says they were just doing what BP wanted them to do (even though it may have been unsafe and illegal). BP says it wasn't their bad game plan, it was Transocean's rig and safety equipment (that they paid for) that was faulty and caused the accident. Transocean says it wasn't their fault, they were just chaperoning the oil party...they only provided the chips, drinks, and Lil' Wayne mp3s.

Having already spilled hundreds of millions of gallons into the ocean, this leak is still not contained. However, BP's concern is whether or not they will be able to drill by Thursday to continue their testing. In addition, while the blame gets passed around, BP has agreed to pay for some of the mess but not all of it. President Obama will be raising taxes on oil companies to pay for the rest of the job. That's like me spilling a handle of Jack Daniels on your rug and then you throw a party at @ $15 ahead to pay to get the stain out.

Haliburton, Transocean, and BP all screwed up royally. And because of this, fishermen are out of work, TONS of animals are dead, and lots of government money we don't have will be spent to correct this problem we have yet to identify.

You know what won't be done? Increasing safety measures to guarantee this won't happen again to the best of their ability. Because that costs money. And these companies aren't into doing a "good ass job." They're into doing a quick job with the maximum pay out. That's why they are begging Canada and anyone else with a pipeline to ignore future safety restrictions. Oil companies want to know if anyone has a problem with skipping precautions that would prevent oil spills for a year or so. They just want to drill now and worry about the safety aspect next season.

This country should not pay a dime for cleanup. BP, Transocean, and Haliburton should pay for everything, the cleanup, the medical bills, the unemployment for fishers, subsidising so the rest of the country doesn't get ripped off for shrimp, commuter boats so immigrants don't have to inner tube in an oil soaked ocean.

If these companies that make billions of dollars can't take care of their mistakes properly then we need to take the Zack Morris approach. Because THIS is not worth it.